Or a "patio," if you want to be a dick about it.

First of all, I got some vernacular in last post wrong. Liz Roth graciously informed me that the word for "patio" in Hawaiian is "lanai." How did she know this? Well, she's insane, and remembers it from an episode of the Golden Girls when the irreverent post-menopausal ladies went to Hawaii. Liz Roth everybody, a Golden Girl in her 20's.

This is what Blondie and I have been barrelling around the narrow roads of Kaua'i in:
A 2009 Ford Mustang. It's a sweet ride. After driving a 1994 Chevy Suburban for all of my life, its amazing to find out that cars can actually do a U-ey without requiring a 3 point turn, and that acceleration doesn't require violent shaking and gurgling sound coming from the engine. But hey, I don't mean to get down on Big Blue; who else can carry 9 kegs and 7 guys across Boston at the same time?

Speaking of Big Blue, she hit 200,000 miles not long ago. I couldn't be more proud of the old girl:
The only annoying part of the 'Stang is the fact that it intermittently rains every so often here. Not "oh crap our day is ruined because it's raining" rain, but "oh here's another 10 minute sun shower that creates a gorgeous rainbow and cools everything off" rain. Yet, since it's a rental, and I don't want to have to pay for water damage to the plush leather seats, we have to constantly put the top up and down. Life is hard, isn't it?

It also has that Microsoft Sync thing, where I can stream music to the stereo from my iPhone via bluetooth. It's an awesome feature, but it's got this weird hiccup problem, where it skips a beat every minute or so, much like old discmans (discmen?) used to do back before "shockwave technology." Again, life's a bitch here in paradise, ain't it?

I'm jonesing to try some Poi son. What's poi you ask? It's a local Hawaiian dip/sidedish, and once I try it I'll report back. For now, I just enjoy saying it. Poi. Poi. Pe-pio-pe.

Monday, I'm Alright

What a weekend getting settled. Blondie has the life here, despite the crazy hours she's working. Here's a little slice of the life in the Kapua Suite.

This is the view from our patio:

This is the view from our patio during sunset:

This is the view from our patio when the most magical rainbow appears:

This is the view from our patio at dinner time. We made an awesome Mango, Ahi, Macademia Nut & Tomato salad:


We're on this cliff overlooking the beginning of Hanaeli Bay, on the very north side of Kaua'i:

View Larger Map

Also, for some reason that even Wikipedia has trouble explaining, this island is goddamn overrun with roosters. Seriously. NYC has pigeons and rats, New NYC has owls (that's for you Inkpen), and Kaua'i has roosters. This is our resident cock, who I have effectionately named Dr. Kenneth Noisewater:

i could kill you, pal.

The Travel Recap

Aloha beetches, I made it. Just woke up from a 3 sleeping pill induced sleep. Its 8AM here, so we're 6 hours behind NYC time. Set your clocks.

All in all, that was the best long-term flight experience I've ever had. And to top it all off, I woke up to this:

this from the patio. right outside. we're on a fuckin' cliff. hell yes.

A flight recap:
- The old "recent knee surgery" trick worked TWICE in getting me an exit row seat. Incredibly clutch. That made the trip.
- The NYC-LA leg had that GoGo WiFi on the plane, and it was free. The future is now, and it is awesome.
- A bartender at Chili's in LAX asked me "Should I know you?" when I ordered a beer and charged my laptop. I really wanted to say "Yes, I'm Don Draper."
- I sat next to this crazy 30-something lady from LA-Kaua'i who talked the entire time. Even when I had my headphones in. She tried to convince me that I should go to Burning Man.

So that's that. Thanks for following along. Now, off to explore while Blondie works for a bit. Any suggestions?

Mile Hi Wi Fi

First of all, this GoGo free wireless is clutch. Not that my battery can last long enough to keep me online all day, but it's sweet I can post from the sky. The future is now, dammit!

Also, I pulled the old "recent knee surgery" trick and got myself an exit row, so no bruised knees for this leg of the trip. Everything is starting out nicely.

The only negative: "My Life in Ruins" is the in-flight movie. Richard Dreyfuss, Rachel Dratch and Harland Williams' careers have hit a low it seems. I liked it better the first time, when it was called "My Big Fat Obnoxious Greek Wedding Movie!" Right Tom? Right?

Speaking of Tom jokes...um, stewardess?

I'm listening to Brendan Benson's new album "My Old, Familiar Friend" and it's awesome. Just a well written, well produced, pop rock record full of hooks and simple melodies. He's the guy who isn't Jack White in the Raconteurs, and you can see where that band gets some of its pop sensibility. I'll post it up when I get to the archipelago.

And speaking of Hawaii, serendipitously enough, today is the 50th Anniversary of it's Statehood. There's a great article in the NY Times by Paul Theroux. Definitely give it a read.

"What I cant go to Hawaii now because Sarah Marshall has heard of Hawaii?"

Sorry for the cliché blog hiatus; musically, 2009 turned out to be a turkey compared to 2008. But let us not dwell, there is an important reason for this relaunch. I'm going to Hawaii for 18 beautiful days starting tomorrow, and I'm going to write about it. Blondie is stationed on the picturesque isle of Kauai for two months opening a ritzy hotel, and I couldn't pass up the trip.


A few goals:
- Finish at least a first draft of the 4 scripts I've been working on (1 feature, 2 pilots, 1 short story)
- Photo much pretty things a lot
- Take a surfing lesson
- Get tan? (I doubt it's possible, but dammit I'm going to try)
- Eat like a local
- Drink like a local
- Find new music for you
- Buy a ukulele

Those is de plans. I will keep you updated, I plan on using this as a conversation with the Contiguous 48. Any suggestions/dares/ideas for me to do while in Polynesia, please let me know. I'll try it all.

Just call me `Ula.